I had moved from Guildford to a small island in the Caribbean (Grand Cayman) to windsurf, travel and have fun. I went alone but I knew that there was someone going to be employed at the same workplace (botanical gardening) and whom I was going to share an apartment with. I met him and we got on really well together. Anyway we were a right pair; the park where we were to work was looking for 2 professional gardeners to give the garden more prestige and to motivate the existing gardeners. This didn’t really work as I went to windsurf and travel and my flatmate went to bodyboard and travel We also didn’t know any of the local tropical plants!

Anyway we were both professing atheists, my parents had always taken me to church but I started to run away from it (the service) even at an early age and go and play in the playground. We started to learn that this island was very "religious." Church buildings were everywhere we were strongly anti all that. Most of the local gardeners who we worked with at the park who went to "those places" talked about their religion to us. They told us to drive over snakes because that was their religion and they wouldn't drink tea or coffee! The more they talked about it the more angry we got. One night my flat mate and I went to bed at about 4:00 am because we were fuming and came up with all the athiest arguments winding each other up. I remember saying, "I would love to believe in all that but I can’t!" My workmate ended up buying a book on history because he thought there would be some evidence against God in it. My approach was different, I went to the internet café to look for jokes on religion and while I was there I had the great idea of looking for scientific proof against the Bible on the internet. I went a few times to build my case and I remember thinking I have never actualy really thought much or studied this subject, and its quite interesting. Anyway, we lost our jobs and came back to England after 6 months. I have never felt so heavy in all my life. Coming back to live in Bognor for the start of winter after being on a dream caribbean island was difficult! I got a job near Crawley (Crawley was somewhere I said to myself I would never go back to after visiting once) and ended up moving to a house in the country which came with my job. My boss there who is 2 years older than me and a Christian started talking about God, I couldn't believe it !!! It was like back in the park again.

I had come to a point in my life where I had done all my dreams and everything I cared to do had finished I didn't feel anymore like I had anything really to look forward to or do. I distinctly remember walking along the hallway one day and said to myself, "I feel really really empty." I had never felt this feeling before that much and I thought to myself I would have to go travelling again to get rid of it. I then said to myself, "but I’ve just done that I can’t go again and I actually want to live in England!" One Friday night my boss had given me a Christian booklet on "questions about God" and stuff. I read it and didn't disbelieve or believe but it did something to my head (as in made my head unsettled is the best way to describe it) and I wanted my head to go back to normal. I then tried to think of other things but something strange had happened, anyway it ended up in the bin. I drove to my parents that night and I remember having a amazing urge to have a Bible on the passenger seat, not even to read just to be there it was weird. Sunday I had a big urge in the evening to start up the study I had done in Cayman on Science and the Bible and look up internet sites. I remember thinking, no I’m not interested, you can’t know for sure and its to much hassle I would rather do something else but instead I just had to do it I couldn't stop, I was drawn. I started looking at sites that were answering peoples sceptical questions and using Science to prove that there had to be intelligence behind the creation. I remember researching from the point of view of trying to find out whether it is true. I stopped and started again later. I think I saw something like a quote from a scientist saying what the chances of life happening by itself were and also prophecy that has happened concerning the "Biblical end times." I was hooked and needed more. I felt like I believed but needed more proof. In a single moment I found out the whole truth. I knew exactly what was going on, the veil was taken off my eyes, I sat back in awe and said "I’ve seen the light, this is what people know when they say they’ve seen the light". I just sat back stunned, probably cried and felt like someone turned the light on in my head. I remember then thinking, "I sort of want to go back to not knowing because I thought things in my life might have to change now I know the truth." However I said "no, I’ve found out the truth, I must keep going forward."

The next day I felt normal but doubted. My Christian boss said that the devil makes you doubt. After I heard that I was very reasured and I’ve never doubted since! Somewhere along this time I had a "why Jesus" booklet and it had a prayer to invite Jesus into your life and I did. There was a bit that said, "think of something bad you have done that's on your mind and I felt a feeling of "oh dear." Thinking some of the things that were said in the past etc. One day I saw my boss and I remember saying to him "I don’t feel like I’m fighting anymore." I started to become excited, very excited I couldn't concerntrate on anything. I went to a church celebration on the following Sunday. I remember that the place was full of children running around. I was amazed, there was so much life there! The band started and I stood at the back the whole time crying and thinking, "I love this place, and wow everyone here knows the truth." I was so excited and couldn't concerntrate on anything that an elder prayed for me in this area and gave me advice that I should go and do something to focus on something else. I went to a windsurfing shop!

I remember going around the shops in Crawley just thinking "I feel like I’ve stumbled on the greatest secret in the world and all the people who go to church (true Christians) know this secret. I also thought they also know the truth, like a club for people who know the truth. I kept asking people "when did you find out the truth?"

Before I got the job I was in (with my Christian boss) my mother had been praying specifically about my next job for there to be a Christian about my age at work who could get alongside me. God had given me someone identical to me in the carribean, he had also answered my mother's prayer specifically for a Christian at my next workplace and drawn me supernaturally to himself (God). He is awesome. 5 months later I went to a leadership training conference in California which God provided all the money for. I went to the major theme parks there and stayed for free with a host who also took us around in a big rv to the beach and into Las Vegas! Being a Christian is not an easy path to take but it is, for sure the best one (especially if you love God and don't want to go to hell)! Even in the most heavy and discouraging times I would still much rather be a Christian than an Athiest!